கோபம் Anger Management

மனிதர்கள், தங்களை சார்ந்தவர்கள்/சார்ந்தவை அவமதிக்கபட்டாலோ, தாக்கப்பட்டலோ கோபமடைகின்றனர். 

கோபத்தை சமாளிக்கும் உத்திகள்

கோபம், ஒவ்வொரு முறையும் ஒரு தேர்வு செய்ய நம் மூளையை கோருகின்றது. ஒரு மனிதன் கோபத்தில் இருக்கும் போது வன்முறையை தவிர்க்க அவ்விடத்தினை விட்டு நீங்க வேண்டும். வேறு வழிகளாக ஆத்திரத்தை அடக்க முயற்சி செய்து நிலைமையை சுமூகப்படுத்த முற்படலாம். நொவோகோவின் கருத்தின்படி ஒருவன் தம் கோபத்திற்கான காரணத்தை ஆராய வேண்டும். பின்னர் அவன் தன் கடந்த கால கோபமான அனுபவங்களில் இருந்து தளர வேண்டும். அல்லது நவீன உளவியல் மருத்துவம் காட்டும் பயிற்சியின் மூலம் கோபத்தை குறைக்கலாம். நவீன பயிற்சிகள் அறிபுல நடத்தைச் சிகிச்சை (சி.பி.டி.; cognitive behavioural therapy), அறிவுசார் உணர்வெழுச்சி நடத்தைச் சிகிச்சை (ஆர்.ஈ.பி.டி; Rational emotive behaviour therapy) முதலியவை ஆகும். இப்பயிற்சிகளை தேர்ந்த ஒருவரிடம் கற்று கொள்வதன் மூலம் கோபத்தை வெகுவாக குறைக்கலாம் என ஆய்வுகள் தெரிவிக்கின்றன. இப்பயிற்சியின் பின்னர் உளைச்சல் தடுப்பு (stess inoculation) எனும் பயிற்சியின் மூலம் கோபத்தை தவிர்க்கும் வழிமுறைகளை அறியலாம்.

அறிபுல நடத்தைச் சிகிச்சை

இது எப்ரம் ஃபெர்னான்டஸ் என்பவரால் அறிமுகப்படுத்தப்பட்டது. இப்பயிற்சி அறிவாற்றல் மற்றும் நடத்தை சார்ந்த வழிமுறைகளை கொண்டு மனதை சாந்தமாக்குவதுடன், கோபத்தை கையாளும் வழிமுறைகளை நமக்கு புலப்படுத்தும். இப்பயிற்சி மூன்று விதமான முறையில் கோபத்தை கையாளுகிறது: தடுத்தல், தலையிடுதல், பயிற்சிக்கு பின்னர் இதன் மூலம் ஒருவர் கோபம் வருவதை தடுக்கலாம், வந்தாலும் எளிதில் கையாளலாம் 

கோபத்தை அடக்கச் சுலபமான வழிகள்..!.

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1. பொருட்படுத்தாதீர்கள்.
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உங்களைப் பற்றி அவதூறாகவோ, மிக மட்டமாகவோ யார் பேசினாலும் அதைக் காதில் வாங்கிக் கொள்ளாதீர்கள். அதைக் கண்டு கொள்ளாமல் விட்டுவிடுங்கள். எதிரிகள் ஏமாந்து விடுவார்கள்.

2. எதையும் யாரிடமும் எதிர்பார்க்காதீர்கள்.
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ஒருவரிடம் நாம் ஒன்றை எதிர்பார்த்து அது கிடைக்கவில்லையென்றால், அவர் மீது கோபம் நமக்கு வருவது இயற்கை தான். எனவே, யாரிடமும் எதையும் எதிர்பார்க்காதீர்கள்.

3. எதிரிகளை அலட்சியம் செய்யுங்கள்.
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தனக்குப் பிடிக்காத மனிதர்களைப் பற்றி நினைத்துக்கூடப் பார்க்கக்கூடாது. அதனால் நமக்கு ஆத்திரமும், கோபமும் அடிக்கடி ஏற்படுவதை தவிர்க்கலாம். தன்னம்பிக்கை உள்ளவனை ஒரு போதும் அவதூறுகளும், ஏச்சு பேச்சுகளும் பாதிப்பதில்லை.

4. தேவையற்ற எண்ணங்களை நிறுத்தி விடுங்கள்.
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பிடிக்காத நபர்கள் மற்றும் செயல்களைப் பற்றி எண்ணம் வரும்போது, அந்த எண்ணங்களுக்கு பெரிய பூட்டு போட்டுவிடுங்கள்
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Anger management: tips to tame your temper

Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips — from taking a timeout to using "I" statements — to stay in control.

Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.

Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse

6. Stick with 'I' statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."

7. Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.

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Everyone Gets Angry

Just as the Mountain Dew ad says, everyone feels fear, everyone also feels anger, contrary to popular perception that only some people get angry while others don't. People just have different ways of expressing anger. The zodiac signs are also a clue to how people express their anger...do check out the details, but don't get angry! ;)

Angry Aries

When Aries gets angry, it can be difficult for them to see the bigger picture. They explode without considering the ramifications of their words and actions. Their volatile anger is caused by their enthusiasm and need for excitement. Ruled by fire, it’s easy for them to get riled up over the smallest of things. No wonder, this sign is prone to the most frequent and violent outbursts.

They Scream

Because Aries are known as the “baby” of the zodiac, their sizzling anger is often seen as a temper tantrum. Nothing seems to ruffle them more than indiscipline, disloyalty and lack of decorum. They go into a rage very easily when challenged. If the opponent remains calm and does not react, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to apologise, which makes it easier to forgive them. Aries always wants to have the first and last word. If you see an Aries angry, it would be good to stay uninvolved!

Angry Taurus

Okay, first things first. Taureans don't get angry easily. But that doesn't mean they can be walked all over. The anger builds up ever so slowly and erupts like a volcano when you least suspect it. Then, it destroys everything in sight, mind you! You heard the phrase "bull in a china shop", haven't you? Well, they do drop hints - like suddenly becoming silent and cold. They have another fixation - they always believe they are right, especially as they are never rash and have thought out things slowly...

They Throw Things

Taurus generally gets upset when they are concerned or when people accuse them of doing something wrong. They also hate being reminded about mistakes they have made in the past. They can get terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong way. In other words, they will not forgive easily unless the other party gives in first. The truth is: Taurus does not like disruptions to something created carefully over time...if they think there's a danger of losing everything that they have won by toil and effort, or feel that someone has betrayed their trust, they can get so angry that you will never forget it!

Angry Gemini

Geminis' favourite form of communication is talking. So, when they get angry, they express this emotion too by shouting angry, sarcastic, crushing words - words that feel like knifes beign thrown! Their anger is all about words, particularly big words - the bigger the word, the better. If you retort with something illogical, they will just lose it, because if there's one thing they won't tolerate, it's idiotic behaviour.

They Stop Talking

Because Geminis possess a logical and diplomatic nature, they don't get angry easily. But when offended or wronged, they can bring out a cold fierceness that some may view as cruel and harsh. Once they have lost their cool, they will yell and argue aggressively. They are often drawn into futile arguments with the more stubborn astrological signs. But angry Gemini could gain by walking away from the situation, so as to reflect, breathe, calm their nerves and come up with a rational plan...

Angry Cancer

One may think that this sensitive, nurturing sign does not pack much of a punch because of its introverted water nature, but like Taurus, this sign is also patient and slow to anger, but when pushed far, will explode with emotions. In fact, they will let out a lot of pent-up emotions and feelings of anger from the past. Sometimes, this expression of anger will make Cancerians so upset that they’ll start crying - not because they’re wrong or afraid, but because they feel so much..

They Forget Things

There are three stages to Cancerian anger: They begin sulking as a warning. If that goes unnoticed, they practice passive-aggressiveness. Finally, they withdraw completely into their famous shell. But the shell does not mean they wish to be left out or ignored. The shell only means they want the people closest to them to show them the tenderness and love they feel they deserve. If you behaved unfairly or took advantage of them, they won't forget this, though ironically they forget other things!

Angry Leo

A Leo’s anger isn’t anger, it’s rage. Their rage is all noise, and the louder they are, the better they feel. They will say anything to shake your confidence. What's more: they won’t apologise, they will only forgive, being a proud sign! Thankfully, Leos usually have good self-control even under stressful situations, and - like Gemini - can act cold and uncaring. Because Leo is such a dominating, proud sign, they may unintentionally offend other signs who don’t understand the Lion’s personality. This can cause drama and conflicts for Leo.

They Go On A Rant

When Leos get mad, they’ll fly off into a rage and often use abusive language that will offend their opponent. Leos like to be in control but when provoked, can be too difficult to handle. Leos, please remember that that if you keep lashing out at people, it will only harm your reputation. Try venting out your anger in a more positive way, so as to feel better. A dressing-down that humiliates your opponent, may cause a strain between the two that lasts forever.

Angry Virgo

Virgo’s anger is about how much they can hold in. They’ll try and suppress their anger as much as they can until it festers into digestive or health issues. Once they can no longer hold anymore in, they will usually explode at something trivial. Because of their sudden anger over many different things, their anger is often awkward and an incoherent mess. Virgo is very misunderstood and can lash out with feelings stemmed from lack of understanding from peers.

They Slam Doors And Cry

Virgos can explode like Taurus and be as violent as Aries. The violence can be so extreme that they can even harm themselves. Virgo is one sign that’s hard to control when angry. Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions but those of you given to temper tantrums, can certainly get violent. You always feel others are trying to persecute you and don’t quite respect your opinions. But your powerful emotional angst, if channelised properly, can end up creating something beautiful...

Angry Libra

Before getting angry, Libra will first question the justification of their anger. If they decide that it’s fully justified, they will act extremely irrational. Otherwise, Libra is the most diplomatic and least ruffled of the zodiac. They are polite and charming. But, like Athena, Greek goddess with a crown of snakes, they often have to fight obstacles to maintain their peace and balance.

They Go Red In The Face

Did someone say you are the charmer of the zodiac? Well, it’s true that few have ever seen you ruffled or angry. You are very conscious of your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality. You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you get into a self-congratulatory mood. Your family or those close to you know you better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac signs, and what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it. Yes, behind the curtain, Libra has an unmatched anger among the zodiac. Yoga could be a great way to vent out such anger and maintain your health at the same time.

Angry Scorpio

They tell themselves they are above anger, and for the most part, that’s true. They’ll stay on the defensive side and get far away from you as possible, not because they are scared of you, but because they are afraid of the damage they will do when they get angry. Some anger will show through their glaring eyes, besides sarcasm and brutal criticism. They may never let it go when they get truly angry at you.This is not a sign one would want to piss off, that’s for sure.

They Give Dirty Looks

Scorpios never forget wrong-doings and can almost always resort to revenge, whether today or in a few months. They do not believe in the 'Forgive and Forget' motto. Although Scorpios don't often lose their cool, once they do, they are a force not to be reckoned with! Scorpios are perhaps the most complicated of signs when they are furious: They find it insulting to ‘let go’. Their very manner projects arrogance, pride and grand disregard for lesser mortals. Anger, in fact, sits on their nose and they are raring to give a piece of their mind to the first person who tries to be funny with them. You actually get angry when you have shown weakness in any form, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is to be out of control.

Angry Sagittarius

Sagittarian anger is mostly misunderstood; they are just prone to blunt speech, which is misconstrued as anger. But when they do get really angry, they tend to use languages and metaphors that would make a person sob! One way to stem the flow of angry words is to side-track them with some form of distraction, which they will easily bite! That way, Sagiis don't hold grudges and have a sporty attitude to life...

They Leave

Being ruled by fire makes Sagiis more quick to anger, which can scale to high levels. Hard to control, angry Sagittarians are like fireballs. They are most likely to totally sever ties with someone who has upset them because a Sagittarian basically wants to be free and independent and happy! If his sense of freedom is limited, and he is not allowed to think and work independently, they will prefer to leave!

Angry Capricorn

This is the most serious sign of the zodiac. Capricorn is practical and composed and does not fall victim to it’s emotions unless pushed. When their anger cannot be controlled behind their hard exterior, The Cappy will have outbursts and will shout and cause such a scene that it’ll shock even their closest friends. Usually composed and peaceful, Capricorns get provoked when their loved ones operate unchecked and limitless in their personal lives.

They Break Things

When Capris get mad, they get authoritative. Rather than saying they are angry at you, they will declare that you have disappointed them, that you are horrible at something, or that you have failed them. Upon getting really upset, they may try to disengage themselves and leave the scene to prevent getting provoked even more. Finally, they may decide that they are no longer friends with you! So, beware, you don't take things that far!

Aquarius Anger

Calm and relaxed Aquarians are not easily instigated. However, when they get angry, they are like a whirlwind of fiery and it’s hard to get spared from their wrath. You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavour to be perfect and socially correct in your behaviour and attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst. You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene.

They Drive Around

Even through the beginning stages of anger, Aquarius remain aloof. Their anger later takes the form of agitation, and they continue to get agitated until they blow up. If they are able to, they will ignore you entirely, and there’s nothing you can really do as they excel at this. When they get really infuriated, they go to the extreme. They become wild and unsympathetic, with threatening ideas. Some will merely fantasize these ideas while others will say it to your face. In the final scene, they will storm out and revv up their car, and go zoom!

Angry Pisces

Hyper-sensitive, Pisces gets angry very often. However, they try to avoid emotional confrontations and arguments by first talking it out with you. Unless they’re constantly in emotional upheaval, it will take a lot for them to get heated. But they can get utterly terrifying when they get angry because of their extreme and unparalleled emotions. Basically blanking out during their emotional rage, they get violent and self-destructive.

They Seclude Themselves

All through your anger, you cry oceans. Others would want to cry with them, but are scared for dear life. Pisces anger often stems from others inflicting hurt on them. But being very sensitive to others’ feelings, Pisces rarely hurt others. Their creative imagination is at its best when they get angry, and thus they tend to get pretty dramatic...when it's all out, they escape to find solitude and heal themselves from the deep wounds...